For International Women’s Day: A spoiler-ridden, biased, Full Throated review of A Star Is Born

A Star Is Born

Still photo from the movie “A Star Is Born,” 2018, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Photo courtesy IMDb.

I just had the pleasure of watching A Star Is Born today. Basic premise for those who haven’t seen it: Washed-up male rock singer discovers nobody female singer, invites her onstage during one of his shows, one thing leads to another, they get married, she becomes a big star, her manager tells her husband that he’s holding her back, he commits suicide, she becomes an even bigger star. The End.

I’ve never seen any of the other three versions of this film, but I do know that the basic premise came from a movie that was co-written by Moss Hart. So, a long time ago. And that probably factors into some of the attitudes in this movie.

But having said that? Holy shit. Buckle up, kids.

Now, before I tear into it completely, I’ll level with you guys: I LOVED the acting, I LOVED the songs, and I am probably going to buy the soundtrack at some point. Lady Gaga was as brilliant an actor as I hoped she’d be, and Bradley Cooper was a hell of a rock (country-rock?) singer.

But.

The ending bugs me. And it took me a few hours before I figured out why.

IT’S THE SEXISM!! DUH!!

Okay, listen to this: Two GUYS decide that the best thing for the leading lady’s life – oh, and we didn’t consult her either; why would we want to do THAT?! – would be for her career to skyrocket, and the best way to do THAT is to get her sucky albatross husband out of the way. Unfortunately, when the soulless manager comes to give the husband this news, hubby is already having something of a self-worth problem and decides that Soulless Manager is right and he, the albatross husband, is going to off himself so that she can be the star she obviously wants to be.

Hello??? Does anyone else see what’s wrong with this picture?

I thought this was 2019. How can we still be watching crap like this in 2019?!

If two women did this to a guy, he’d be fucking furious. And rightly so. And by the way, guys, you all should be furious with this movie too, because it didn’t exactly paint you with flying colors.

And from a mental health standpoint? Don’t even get me started.

Yes, “Shallow” is already one of my favorite songs. But this movie sends way too many wrong messages.

You know, maybe the best thing we can do for a “classic film plot” is to leave it in the dustbin of history, where it belongs.

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